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Attack The Hills.

Recently I've been hurting for some crossfit/functional fitness style workouts and found that I actually miss the pain of the Assault bike.


At the gym I can't stand the bike and now deep into a pandemic and I miss it. For me this is like Kevin (from the Office) saying he misses eating broccoli.

So I called my man Jim Eagen (great friend, triathlete, Type A freakazoid) and asked him for some ideas for bike workouts.

I was expecting something complicated and detailed.

Quite the contrary.

His advice was simple: Attack the Hills.

Get on the bike and find some hills and go up as fast as possible.

His logic was that hills make you work, keep you honest and you cannot coast. If you do, you fall. Very simple.

Either perform and succeed or fail and fall.

I like things that are like light switches. You're either on or off. No middle ground and no wasted time on interpretation.

Hills give you two things:

1- Something difficult.

2- Something you cannot cheat.

So I did the workout, found a hill near my house and did three sprints on a 7-gear glorified beach cruiser/urban bike.

It sucked.

Like really sucked.

The thing is that when I was done I was struck by how little I was daunted by the hill. Beforehand I thought it would suck (it did) and I was dreading doing the workout.

Afterwards I found that while it sucked I felt good finishing it. I felt like I wanted to go find more hills to crush.

Again, this is like Kevin walking in and saying he's going vegan. Or Jim getting a tattoo of Dwight on his back. Basically, pretty unlikely.

Going to apply this to life and am now looking for some hills to attack. Why the f not?

Always thought (and still do) that cliche, "Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger" was kinda lame.

Really it should be:

"Whatever doesn't kill me that I really don't fucking feel like doing and am stressed about but resign myself to do anyway ends up not being as bad as I thought and may have as an accidental consequence ended up making me less of afraid/worried than I was before as long I realize it's going to suck and 100% of the effort is going to have to come from me and oh well fuck it lets go..."

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