6 Ways to Build Stronger Friendships

*Podcast dedication - Robby McGee 

See how great friendships are based on 6 key areas including: shared experiences, loyalty, showing up, etc.  You'll see what to do when you face a fork in the road with a friend and how to give incredible actionable advice (even if you're not a therapist).

Better still, you'll learn how to judge real friends from fake friends and why your best friends will always back you up no matter what.

 SHOW NOTES

Facebook friends are people you know.  Some are true friends, most are not

4 ways to tell a true friendship:

  1. Be honest
  2. Non-judgemental
  3. Safe harbor in a storm
  4. Rooting for your success

Fake friendships/acquaintances:

  1. Like to see you fail
  2. Don’t have your best interests at heart
  3. Jealous

How to build a great friendship

  1. Great friendships grow organically over shared experiences
    • Bonding
      • JE/Bafa experience
    • Shared successes
      • Bearcats football - Jeff and the boys
  2. Loyalty - be loyal
  3. Don’t judge
  4. Give great advice (see below)
  5. Recognize when the fork in the road occurs
    • You either grow tighter or it all falls apart
  6. Be there/show up in tough times
    • Why being there for someone else is so important to your own success:
      • You give a favor and the person will forever be indebted to you
      • Builds friendships in unlikely ways

Giving great advice

  • Listen
    • Be slow to speak (this one is tough for me)
    • Make sure you’re clear about what they’re saying
    • Confirm what they’re asking you
    • Figure out what type of advice/support they need:
      • Do they need to vent?
      • Have a problem solved for them?
      • Confirm that they’re solution is the right choice?
      • Figure out what the actual problem is
  • Don’t judge
    • Judgement points out mistakes/bad choices they made.
    • They know this already
    • If they weren’t mistakes, they wouldn’t be coming to you for advice
  • Support without taking sides
    • relationship - don’t call their partner a name because that may come back to bite you in the as*
    • Career - don’t assume their boos/co-worker is wrong
  • Give actionable advice
    • “What I’d do is__________"
    • “If this were me, I’d __________"
    • “The first thing to do is __________"
  • Provide context/perspective
    • When it’s your problem, you have very little context
      • You are too close to the situation
      • It hurts too much
      • You think the world is ending
        • Tricia Bigler HS breakup
  • Know when to get someone else’s help
    • Are they in danger to themselves or others? Yes? then call somebody