“f*ck this." Kel is going to kill me but I think swearing is pretty cool.
From the 1st time I said ‘f*ck’ when I was a kid I have always dug swearing. I know, I know, I’m a Dad, husband, respected member of the community, etc, etc but face it, swearing is fun and a little more interesting. For those of you who never drop an ‘f-bomb’ or are mortally offended by the word ‘mother*cker’ you should stop reading now. I’m probably not your guy anyway.
Swearing is a component of life and face it, and sometimes it makes some things you say more interesting. For example:
“I love this sandwich"
“I f*cking love this sandwich"
I’d much rather hang out with the person who says the latter.
I don’t think we should all walk around screaming “Motherf*cker!” at the top of our lungs but I don’t think we should hold back either.
What’s the point? If someone thinks less of me because I swear then I shouldn’t be hanging out with them anyway. And anyone who wants to lay that “swear words are hateful and cruel” argument on me, I think that’s crap. The most hateful and cruel words to say to someone in the English language are:
I wouldn’t care if my 6 year old daughter dropped a “mother*cker” but I would be forever pissed if she used one of those three words. They are the most hateful words we have and are 100x bad as any common swear word. Do. Not. Use. Them. Ever.
That said, I’m not a complete barbarian and do think there are definitely times NOT to swear:
- around small children and/or 80+ year olds. Basically don’t swear around anyone in a diaper
- in church, during a dentist appointment or in the middle of a parole hearing
Swearing is used in the ultimate highs and lows of life:
“That crossfit workout was a mother*cker"
Stub your toe? “F*ck!!!"
Win the lottery? “F*ck yeah!!!"
Stuck in traffic? “Sonofabitch…”*** (***although this is barely a swear anymore, it’s so mellow. It probably was a big deal back in the day, but not now. Kind of like the Rick James song SuperFreak when he says, “she’s got incense, wine and candles, its such a freaky scene!” Really Rick? My chiropractor has that in his office)
My favorite swear words:
“Motherf*cker” - great all around swear word, can be used fittingly in almost any circumstance. This is my go-to swear word and I love it.
“F*ck” - The ubiquitous swear word. used as a verb, noun. Most common prefix, “what the____?"
“Horseshit” - I love it for it’s old-school bravado. I clearly don’t use it enough but I love it and wished I used it more. I bet my grandfather used it a ton.
So don’t stress if you swear a little bit. I firmly believe you can live consciously, be a good human, revere the earth, eat organic and still drop a well timed “F-bomb” when you want.
Luckily we now live in a time where our world is becoming more accepting. And if we’re just going to accept the dude in skinny jeans and ironic t-shirt at the coffee shop, then I think we can all accept a little swearing now and then.
And finally (and this is for selfish reasons) please let me know your favorite swear words in the comments as I am always looking to add to my repertoire.